


Not so different

by aadk



Category: All New X-Men (Comics), Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aadk/pseuds/aadk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the anniversary of her father's death, Kitty has a very special conversation with Peter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before Legendary Star-Lord #5, after #4 and probably after Guardians of the Galaxy #23. The Genosha attack was an storyline from New X-Men by Grant Morrison (#115) and Kitty found out about her father in X-Men Unlimited #36 and the series Mekanix. The Red Skull incident in Genosha happened on Axis.

No matter how much she kept wishing this day would just disappear, it was finally here. The clock in her room was ticking. The numbers on the second row showed the day and month very clear, She didn't need any calendar to know the date of the day that was starting though, because she was dreading its approaching for the last seven days at least. The same day, every year, when she would be reminded of what she lost, and her worst fears would come alive again.

Kitty Pryde could never get some sleep the night before this day. The place seemed to be always different every year, yet the feeling of sadness that invaded her body was always the same, and this time it was no different. She usually likes mornings but this one was different, it took a big effort but she finally got up from bed, and it only took her turning the tv and see one news channel, to grasp her horrible reality; this horrible day was real and it was only starting.

Out of her room, arrangements were being made by her fellow teammates for the special operations scheduled for the day. Everywhere she went: a tv on, people talking about it, speeches being given. The hours passed and her soul was closer and closer to break into pieces again. She was on the hall after another speech from her commander, Scott Summers, when someone turned on the tv:

"We are live in New York where a group of people crowded in a protest that reportedly doubles as a tribute for what is certified as one of the most horrible terrorist attacks in history where approximately 16 million people died on the island of Genosha, on this day, a few year ago; after an unprecedented attack perpetrated by mutant response Sentinel robots. Even though quite some time has passed since this tragedy took place, investigations are still being conducted by Interpol, SHIELD, the FBI and several international agencies, and the facts are still not clear..."

At that point she couldn't hold it anymore and tears started falling from her eyes as she whispered a very weak word that no one but her, could hear: "Daddy..."

The most famous group of mutants, the X-Men, always seized this day to remind people of the horrible tragedies a war between two different races can bring to innocent people, then they would make a call for peace and the realization of Charles Xavier dream of co-existence between humans and mutants. People are respectful most of the time and sometimes even join in the grief and prayers for the fallen mutants and humans, but there's always exceptions, and to deal with those, the other side of the X-Men, the one that doesn't have good publicity, the one Kitty belongs to, is always on the move.

Predictably, things are just as bad as they always were right now. Genosha is not a holy place for tribute but a crime scene once more, after the Red Skull transformed it into his personal concentration camp and even when there are quite a large group of people paying their respect, the agitators are always on the move, luckily the remains of Kitty's deceased father were not in Genosha anymore but in her hometown on Illinois. She asked her friend Illyana to take her to see her father. Kitty needed to go visit her father, but at the same time, she hated going there because she knew that as soon as she would get there, she was going to start crying. She hated crying, she preferred to be angry, anger was an easier emotion to deal with for her. But there was no way she could be angry with her father ever again, even if he were still alive, she wouldn't have the strength to get angry at him. Not after understanding just how much he loved her.

Both friends finished lunch and then teleported immediately to the cemetery. They spent some time looking for the right place but eventually found it and when Kitty got there, when she found herself in front of her father's grave, she realized once again that she wasn't strong enough yet. Even after so many years, death somehow still meant something to her. Even after having been witness to so many wonders and marvels through the years, something as simple as the idea of her father not being there anymore to play with her, to hug her, to kiss her goodnight; is what broke her for the second time this day.

After they returned to their base in Canada, Kitty asked for permission to stay at the base to her commander Scott Summers. He granted her request knowing how hard it was for her to relive this day every year. Soon the rest of her team left. There wasn't a single soul in that base except her. Even her students were in New York trying to somehow make sense of this terrible future that awaited them. Kitty, on the other hand, didn't want to sleep, eat, or do anything other than cry. She had cried twice already but more tears wanted to come out. She felt empty and alone in the world, she just wanted her dad to come in through that door and tell her it was all a bad dream. But he wasn't coming, he was never coming through that door again. While scanning her room with her eyes, she saw a picture of her and the person who she considered her second father, the man who was better known as Wolverine. Kitty murmured "Oh, Logan, Not even you could survive the experience." Some tears were forming in her eyes but she did her best to contain them. Was there anyone left who could come and relieve her from this horrible pain? Anyone who would be there for her? At that moment she realized there was someone she could talk, someone who wouldn't be busy today and would be there for her. 'I mean he has to, right?', Kitty thought, 'He is my boyfriend after all.' Yet, she hesitated at making the call for she knew that even when her feelings for this guy were real, she wasn't entirely there yet. For instance, she hadn't gotten used to even call him his boyfriend out loud yet, and she was still trying to make sense of why exactly she was so infatuated with this not-so-honest adventurer. Add that to the fact that he wasn't a mutant and wasn't even on earth; how would he understand something this deep when he was so distant from what is happening here? After thinking about it for some minutes, her feelings of loneliness got the best of her and finally pushed to make the call. Soon the call connected and there he appeared, a hologram of a blond guy who was far, far away.

"Hi Peter," Kitty finally said.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Kitty," responded the blonde guy whose name was Peter Quill. "What's up?"

Kitty was trying to look normal but somehow she felt like she was failing even at that.

"Hmmm, nothing special," she lied, "How about you?"

"I was keeping an eye on Rocket's so called 'weapons test day'. You know, making sure he doesn't blow a new hole into our already damaged ship," Peter said in a casual manner. Kitty didn't respond so Peter continued.

"Any particular reason why you called me?"

Kitty hesitated to respond, she didn't want to tell him why exactly she was calling. It was enough with her day being crap already, she didn't want to ruin Peter's day too. Suddenly she started regretting making the call. She shook her head and said, "No reason. I just wanted to see you."

Peter smiled and tried to give a smart response; but as usual when talking to her, his brain failed him.

"R-Really? I wanted to see you too--I mean, i-it's a nice day right? Hehe--is it still day?"

Kitty almost giggled at Peter's reaction. She will never stop loving those awkward responses he usually give her. It always reminded her that hidden behind the flirtatious jerk, existed a good man. But the very brief moment of joy soon was overshadowed by the dark feelings that returned to torment her. She cursed at her inability to distract herself from the pain. In the room, neither of them wanted to speak. They just stayed there in silence watching everywhere and each other from time to time. Awkward for Peter maybe, but Kitty was just too focused on trying to get rid of the pain to notice the awkward. After almost a minute, Peter dared to speak.

"So...wanna hear something fun?"

"Sure," Kitty said showing some fake enthusiasm in the form of a smile.

"I just found out my father was given the middle finger when he tried to retrieve money from outside Spartax," Peter said with a grin on his face. Kitty didn't react. She was not amused, but her face was emotionless.

"But here's the best part. After that, he actually tried to go back and take the money out personally. He managed to bypass some security but some citizens spotted him and started throwing things at him. Hahahahaha." Peter was now laughing and Kitty tried to smile but inside she felt even more lonely than before. She stayed silent.

"Can you believe that guy. Stealing money for so long and then have the guts to go back and try to take all the stolen money away in front of people?" Peter was now expecting an answer but Kitty remained silent and her smile was gone, instead she just stared at the floor. Peter noticed this and immediately stopped laughing.

"Something wrong?" asked Peter now a little worried he had said something that bothered her.

"Your father..." Kitty said, her voice trailed. "Do you wish him so much ill?"

Peter was confused by these questions. "W-What do you mean?" He asked now trying to understand what she was trying to say.

"It's not--I just can't comprehend why a person would hold that much hate for the person who gave him life."

Peter didn't mean to hurt her, he was just trying to make her laugh; however, he couldn't simply justify what his father did to him, what he did to everyone. He simply couldn't. Kitty continued talking after some silence.

"You know, my father did some bad things to me too. I remember him and my mother fighting every night...screams, and me upstairs listening with tears on my eyes. I remember him overreacting and screaming at me when I accidentally broke some stupid glass or when I got into a fight at school or when I brought a boy home..." she was just watching the floor, trying not to cry again. Peter was just listening, quietly looking at her, not sure if he should interrupt her at some point.

"Yet, there's not a single thing I wouldn't give up to have him at my side right now."

Peter wanted to comfort her, she was clearly going through a rough time and he wanted to just hold her and assure her everything was going to be alright but he couldn't, because she was just a hologram. Instead he just asked.

"Is he gone?"

Not being able to contain her tears anymore, Kitty's voice broke and she responded with a painful "yes." before sobbing.

"Recently?"

"No." *sob* "A few years ago." *sob* "Today."

"I'm sorry," was all Peter could say. Not wanting to make things worse and hoping Kitty would just let his slip go.

"It's not your fault Peter. I'm the dumb girl who thought that speaking to the guy whose father is an intergalactic criminal was a good idea."

Peter felt somewhat hurt at that statement. 'the guy?' he wasn't just 'a guy', he was supposed to be her boyfriend. He was the person she should have come to before anyone else. Not to mention telling him about the importance of this day before; however, he knew that trying to start a fight right now would only make things worse so he decided to let that one pass.

"I don't hate my dad," Peter said now looking to the roof. Kitty moved her head a little bit towards his direction. She was still sobbing.

"I don't like the things he does, I don't like what he did to me, I don't like what he did to the galaxy, but I don't hate him. Because I don't hate anybody." Peter now stopped looking up and stood up. He began walking a bit to the front, stopped at his desk and picked his gun.

"There are things he did right whether you believe it or not." Kitty was watching him move his gun from left to right, admiring it.

"He loved my mother, he protected her from the horrors of outer space, left me this awesome gun." Peter stopped and went silent for a moment just contemplating the gun. Kitty felt he was struggling to find what to say next so she went ahead and let a short word out "But...?"

Peter turned around to watch her. "But he made mistakes. Mistakes he refuses to amend." He started going back to the spot where he was sitting before.

"Then why don't you help him? Instead of laughing at him why don't you go and talk to him, try to convince him to leave that life behind," Kitty exploded, not being able to understand, or maybe not wanting to understand.

"Don't think I haven't tried Kitty. It's not fair to compare my father to yours, I'm sure your father was a great man but mine just simply isn't. If you meet him one day you will understand."

Kitty somehow now started feeling worse than before. She finally realized the big mistake she made when she threw those accusations at Peter. She was feeling so vulnerable, so lost. "I'm sorry," That's all she said not even looking at him, embarrassed of what she did.

Peter smiled and watched her sitting there with her eyes closed, and probably waiting for him to say something.

"Sounds like he was a great father," Peter said.

"The best," was all Kitty managed to say.

Silence again. Kitty refused to continue speaking or open her eyes even, so Peter decided to speak again.

"I may not have the best father, but I'm sure I had the best mother."

Kitty was taken aback by what he said, finally opening her eyes and turning to see him. "H-Had??" was all she could say.

"Yeah..." responded Peter a little bit thoughtful now. "She's buried in Colorado, near a little town in the mountains. It just occurred to me that I haven't gone to visit her in a while." Said Peter, he was trying to smile but it was pretty evident he was suffering inside while saying those words.

"I-I'm sorry Peter---I-I didn't know. Why, you never told me!" said Kitty with one hand on her mouth.

"I know," said Peter and then stayed there in silence for a bit. "She was my light...Still is," finally added before stopping again, struggling internally.

"There's not a single day that pass when I don't wish she could come back," He said now closing his eyes. Staying silent for a bit. "Peter..." was all Kitty could say to try and console him. But then Peter opened his eyes abruptly and turned to make eye contact. His eyes full of conviction.

"And somehow I know that given the chance to do it, I wouldn't change a thing, no matter how much it would kill me inside," Peter said while he kept the eye contact. His eyes filled with pain but also courage.

Kitty couldn't understand. "B-But that doesn't make sense. Are you telling me you would watch your mother...DIE...again and you wouldn't do anything?" she struggled to say those things because she didn't want to hurt Peter or herself. It was too hard for her to speak about death, specially on that day.

"At the risk of being insensitive, I just think my life would be very different than what it is now if she was still alive." Peter was now with his eyes half closed, not looking at her anymore. His expression suggesting he was about to cry but he refused to let the tears go out. He just smiled instead.

"Who knows what kind of life I would have had if she had never died. Maybe I would have find my way into space anyways and maybe everything would have turned out alright; however, I don't wanna find out because I don't wanna gamble my current life." He now stood up and raised his hands with a bigger smile, his eyes fully open now.

"Right now I have health, I have friends, I have the coolest most beautiful girlfriend on any galaxy and I'm sure my mother wouldn't want me to give up all those things just for the chance of having her back. She wanted me to be happy, and I am. Poor and with a bounty on my head happy, but happy nonetheless."

Kitty blushed at that comment but didn't care; because another thought finally hit her, and it hit her hard. All those words Peter was saying, they were right. No matter how much it hurt, she knew he was right. HE was right. The guy who wasn't a mutant, who didn't know about Genosha, who spent his life stealing things and being some kind of hero. She always had feelings for him, that was clear to her; but now, somehow, she was feeling a deeper connection forming. A deeper feeling for this space rogue than what she felt until now. Peter now sat again next to her, put his hands on top of hers, made eye contact and said.

"I'm sure your father was very proud of you Kitty. Don't waste this day mourning his passing but instead celebrate the life you have...Because I'm sure he will be celebrating with you, wherever he is."

Kitty now was crying again and Peter noticed, he went into panic mode again.

"What? D-Did I say something again?"

Kitty just got closer to him and said, "I'm just sad because you aren't here right now and I can't hold you and kiss you and..." She was staring intensely at his eyes. "Thank you Peter. You are a great man."

"Heh heh, right. Y-You're welcome Kitty."

Kitty was smiling, she didn't care about anything he said or anything that was happening anywhere anymore, they both just stayed there and stared at each other for a long time, their feelings quite indescribable but strong, suddenly their faces were moving closer, soon they were just a few inches apart.

"QUILL!!! COME BACK HERE AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS KRUTAKING MESS!!!" A voice screamed from outside Peter's room followed by another deeper voice saying "I AM GROOOOOT!!!!". Both lovers came back to reality, dropped the stare and begrudgingly went back to their seats. None of them was pleased but sadly, the moment was gone. 'Better not push it' thought Peter.

"You have to go?" asked Kitty.

"Me? I don't have to go anywhere," responded Peter while dropping himself on the bed. Kitty smiled.

"So...tell me more about your father Kitty."


End file.
